By Pauline Odhiambo
Some people trust what they describe as "a gut feeling". Others see it as a message from the divine, communicated in ways the human mind can't explain.
Egyptian-born Amira Elshaer calls them "signs" – random, unexplained markers that seem to appear out of nowhere and shine a light on the paths individuals must take.
In 2021, while driving in the Canadian city of Toronto, she saw a woman standing on the sidewalk holding up a giant poster that read, "Adoption is life."
As Amira would recount later, it was a reaffirmation of her long-held desire to adopt a child from her native Egypt.
"I took it as a sign from God," Amira, a Canadian citizen, tells TRT Afrika. "I already had three biological kids by then. Seeing that sign was my green light from heaven to start the adoption process."
Flashback to 30 years earlier, Amira was in high school when the "first sign" to bring an orphan home came to her.
"I found a quote of the Prophet, where he says that anyone who adopts an orphan will go to paradise and be very close to him," the 45-year-old recounts.
"Even before reading that quote, I knew that loving and caring for an orphan would be easy for me because children are so cute. So, why don't more people adopt?"
Divine guidance
Amira's desire to adopt grew stronger following the birth of her first child - 11 months after her wedding.
She and her husband had by then moved to Canada, and it proved impossible to adopt because Egyptian law at the time prohibited adopted children from being taken out of the country.
She would draw consolation from often travelling back home to visit many orphanages, bringing gifts and making donations for the children.
In 2020, a friend invited her to join a social media group for adoption in Egypt.
"When I joined the group, I found out that the law had changed and adopted kids could leave the country," she recalls. "So, I felt like this was another sign from God encouraging me not to give up on adoption."
Amira's husband Ahmed was thrilled at the prospect of parenting another child, but her children were sceptical. "The kids were initially confused," she explains. "They would say, 'Mama, you are so busy taking care of all of us. Why would you want another child?'"
Their initial uncertainty at having another sibling slowly faded and was replaced by halting enthusiasm after she explained to them how giving an orphan a home and a family was a form of piety.
Adoption pangs
Amira's eldest son, Adam, was quickly convinced, but his sister Rana wasn't, especially about having another girl in the family.
She warmed up to the idea only when she learned that her mother planned on adopting a boy.
Seleem, her youngest child then, needed a bit more convincing.
"Seleem was just eight, and he thought that having another sibling, especially a boy, would shake his position in the family," Amira recounts to TRT Afrika.
An estimated 75-80% of adoptive parents prefer to adopt girls, according to the New Beginnings Adoption Network.
Studies show that many adoptive families fear raising boys, who are often perceived as restless and more challenging to handle compared to girls, who are generally seen as quieter and better behaved. Some also believe girls are more likely to care for their ageing parents
Despite these beliefs and other cultural dogmas concerning adoption, Amira was still keen to adopt a boy.
With the support of her husband and children, Amira travelled to Egypt to initiate the process.
"To my surprise, the application was rejected because the law had changed since the time I applied, preventing people who already had more than two kids from adopting,” she says.
Months later, she would find her adopted son, Eyad, while scrolling through the group she had earlier joined. "I came across this anonymous post without any photos. All it said was that a four-year-old boy – the only kid left in a certain orphanage – was awaiting a home," she recalls.
Homecoming
Eyad's story tugged at Amira's heartstrings when she continued to read how the little boy would always sit by the window, saying that his father was flying there to take him home.
"I just had a feeling he was my son," Amira says of that moment.
She had made a second adoption application by then, and her husband was to face an interview with a 16-strong committee in Egypt while she attended the same meeting online with the older kids in Canada.
“I did some digging, found out more details about Eyad, and even got his photo. Since my husband was already in Egypt, I sent him Eyad’s details," she says.
After the committee members interviewed Amira's older children, the family's application to adopt Eyad was approved.
He became the newest member of the family in March 2022. The process took exactly nine months – another "sign" for Amira as the duration mirrored a normal pregnancy and birth.
During a visit to a zoo, Eyad called Amira "Mama" for the first time.
"Eyad knows he is adopted, and my dream is to one day see him proud of his adoption story. Not just normalising it but proud of it. Proud that his family chose him," says Amira.
